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Question: What did the sadist do to the masochist? Answer: Nothing!

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Here you will find many Funny Jokes, more than 4000!

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Trump: "Foreign Policy? If you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee!"

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Who were Jenna and Barbara Bush with when they got caught by the police? Their uncle Anheuser!

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Funny Celebrity Baby Names Erykah Badu and Andre Benjamin- Seven Sirius (BOY) David and Angela Bowie- Duncan Zowie Heywood Jones (BOY) Nicholas Cage and Alice Kim- Kal-el(BOY) Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes- Suri(GIRL) Courtney Cox and David Arquette- Coco Riley(GIRL) Bob Geldof and Paula Yates- Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom, and Little Pixie(ALL 3 GIRLS) Penn and Emily Jilette- Moxie Crimefighter(GIRL) Frank and Gail Zappa- Dweezil, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan(BOYS) Moon Unit, Diva Muffin (GIRLS) Michael Jackson and Debbie Rowe- Paris(GIRL), Prince Jackson, and Prince II [AKA Blanket] (BOYS)

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One day two kids were wandering around near a stream. One of the boys wandered off near a bush and the other wandered farther down stream. The boy who was wandering down stream started to get lonely, so he went to find his other friend. When he got to the bush were his friend was he saw a naked woman and ran away. The boy that was here for a long time got curios and ran after him and asked, "Why did you run away." The other boy said, "My mom said that if I were to ever see a naked woman I would turn to stone. Then I felt something get very hard so I ran."

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How many lawyers does it take to roof a house? Depends on how thin you slice them!

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A recent poll came out that shows the approval rating for President Donald Trump has fallen to a historical all-time low of 33%. In response, Trump said, "You hear that? Historic! I'm in the history books! I did it!" deze is heel leuk!deze is niet leuk.

Some videos of racially insensitive Halloween costumes went viral today. Then people realized they were just watching footage of a Washington Redskins game. deze is heel leuk!deze is niet leuk.

In Wisconsin, a child's trick-or-treat bag was found to contain meth. On the plus side, the kid did manage to hit 19 houses in under two minutes. deze is heel leuk!deze is niet leuk.

Itís come out that this year, indicted Trump advisor Paul Manafort traveled to Mexico using a fake name. Then again, if you worked for Trump and you were in Mexico, would YOU use your real name? deze is heel leuk!deze is niet leuk.

Virgin CEO Richard Branson is launching a cruise line that is "adults only." After hearing about it, Kevin Spacey said, "Not interested." deze is heel leuk!deze is niet leuk.

Meanwhile, Republican leaders unveiled the new tax plan. It is over 400 pages long. And experts are still analyzing it. Apparently the plan would cut the number of tax brackets for individuals down to three. It would be 35%, 25%, and 12%. Which coincidentally also matches the trajectory of Trumpís approval ratings. Weird coincidence. deze is heel leuk!deze is niet leuk.

Amazon has unveiled a new way to view its products in 3-D. Amazon is calling its new invention "a store." deze is heel leuk!deze is niet leuk.

A gambler won $14 million on last night's World Series game. Here's what's suspicious - turns out it was some guy named Yu Darvish. deze is heel leuk!deze is niet leuk.

President Trump tweeted congratulations to the Houston Astros for winning the World Series. Trump said heís so happy for the Astros, heís only going to deport some of the players. deze is heel leuk!deze is niet leuk.

The Republican tax plan came out today and President Trump announced that it will bring trillions of dollars to the U.S. He then said, "Specifically, to three members of my Cabinet." deze is heel leuk!deze is niet leuk.

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One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Do you wanna see a magic trick? Watch me pull something out of my pants!
Becoming a father is easy enough, but being one can be very rough.
People say I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people.
If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?
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