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Funny Jokes & Texts


Question: What did the sadist do to the masochist?
Answer: Nothing!


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New!
Here you will find many Funny Jokes, more than 4000!

The best rated jokes on top of the list.
Rate a joke click on the smiley at the right of the joke.

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Funniest jokes:

Trump: "Foreign Policy?, if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."
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Q: Who were Jenna and Barbara Bush with when they got caught by the police?



A: Their uncle Anheuser

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Funny Celebrity Baby Names
Erykah Badu and Andre Benjamin- Seven Sirius (BOY)

David and Angela Bowie- Duncan Zowie Heywood Jones (BOY)

Nicholas Cage and Alice Kim- Kal-el(BOY)

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes- Suri(GIRL)

Courtney Cox and David Arquette- Coco Riley(GIRL)

Bob Geldof and Paula Yates- Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom, and Little Pixie(ALL 3 GIRLS)

Penn and Emily Jilette- Moxie Crimefighter(GIRL)

Frank and Gail Zappa- Dweezil, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan(BOYS) Moon Unit, Diva Muffin (GIRLS)

Michael Jackson and Debbie Rowe- Paris(GIRL), Prince Jackson, and Prince II [AKA Blanket] (BOYS)

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Question: How many lawyers does it take to roof a house?
Answer: Depends on how thin you slice them.

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One day two kids were wandering around near a stream.
One of the boys wandered off near a bush and the other wandered farther down stream.
The boy who was wandering down stream started to get lonely, so he went to find his other friend.
When he got to the bush were his friend was he saw a naked woman and ran away.
The boy that was here for a long time got curios and ran after him and asked, "Why did you run away."
The other boy said, "My mom said that if I were to ever see a naked woman I would turn to stone. Then I felt something get very hard so I ran."

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Last added:
Donald Trump makes Archie Bunker look like a Democrat! deze is heel leuk!deze is niet leuk.

Donald Trump wants to remake America in his own image, and when the mushroom clouds lift he will have done just that. deze is heel leuk!deze is niet leuk.

Yo mamma so ugly, Donald Trump tried to disconnect her from the internet. deze is heel leuk!deze is niet leuk.

Trump and Pence or as I like to call them "Dumb and Dumb Hair" deze is heel leuk!deze is niet leuk.

I heard Donald Trump is going to build a wall with all the bricks the 76ers laid tonight. deze is heel leuk!deze is niet leuk.

Donald trump and my child's diaper needs to be changed often. And for the same reason! deze is heel leuk!deze is niet leuk.

Donald Trump, at a campaign stop in the Midwest, promised to rebuild titties and make Detroit the motorboat city. deze is heel leuk!deze is niet leuk.

Donald Trump so dumb, he ordered NASA to arrest illegal aliens. deze is heel leuk!deze is niet leuk.

That awkward moment Donald Trump watches Zootopia and realizes its a satire about his presidency. deze is heel leuk!deze is niet leuk.

I went to my hairstylist and requested the "Donald".
She asked "What's That?"
I said "Shaggy hair with a gay combover"
deze is heel leuk!deze is niet leuk.


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